Thinking about what to write about has been really hard. I had a big intro written out for this, but then I scrapped it. I don't think this verse needs an intro. Except that, I'm sure you've seen it before. But give me a chance. I have some things to say.
"If anyone would come to me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever should seek to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." (Luke 9:23-24)
For something so commonly read I think it has the most potential to change your life. Let me paraphrase how I think Jesus would say it today:
"If you want to call yourself a Christian, a follower of me, you need to deny yourself, of everything you pick over me, your desire to be comfortable, your desire to be all sustaining, your desire for approval, your desire for material things, your desire for love from other people, your desire to be normal. And by deny I really mean die too, die too daily, as in yes it will need to happen more than once, literally every day you will realize you need to kill something about yourself that is holding you back from me. And if you try to spare yourself from those deaths because it hurts, because its uncomfortable, you're going to miss it. You going to miss the life I have called you too. The life I promised you would be abundantly better. BUT if you sacrifice all of that, leave your old life behind and follow me, you will gain the life I have promised you"
We treat Jesus like a self help book. Pick him up off a shelf, think "Hm this sounds good", read through him for a couple of days until we determine we've gotten the jist of what he's about, then put him on the self for a rainy day.
But Jesus doesn't say that. He's asking you to sacrifice all the things you think you need to be happy. He's not saying just add me to your life. He's not even really asking. He tells you you have a choice. Either give it all up and experience life, or keep holding onto the things in your life and miss it all. He's asking you to risk everything for him.
If you asked me a year ago what I needed to be happy, I would have said: a working car (if you know me you know this has plagued me my whole life), a mysterious benefactor to pay for everything such as college (and well lets be honest, life in general), a place to live, friends, family, I don't know a puppy. I don't even know if I would have said Jesus. I liked Jesus. I don't know if I would have said I needed him to be happy.
And to be honest I hadn't really sacrificed a whole lot for him. In some ways I did. I sacrificed the things that were blatantly bad that it made sense to sacrifice. But then God started to ask me to sacrifice things I thought were good. Things other Christians got to have.
So I said no. For a long time I said no. I held onto the things God asked me to give up. And honestly? It hurt. It killed me inside. Sometimes I would lay in my bed at night and just cry. I cried because something felt so wrong and I knew exactly what it was but I didn't want to let go. How ironic, the things I was holding onto to so tight to make me happy were killing me on the inside.
"When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat."- Psalms 32:3-4
The good news. You can choose sin, but the Lord wont let you stay there. Why? Because you were created for holiness. So you can choose sin, choose idols, but your discontentment will build up inside you until it feels like you can't breath and through a whisper you cry out "Jesus".
So I started letting go of the seemingly good things. And it was hard. I couldn't eat. It was like a pipe busted behind my eyes causing non stop water works. I was a mess. And for the first time in a long time I felt what it was like to really need Jesus. I needed Jesus because I had let go of all of the other things I ran too to make me happy. He was all I had.
A lot of people didn't understand. It didn't make sense to them.
Y'all God doesn't make sense. He is this huge all powerful, sovereign God and he made us, knowing full well we would reject him, and he would have to go through his huge process of redeeming us back to him. The very nature of Jesus' teaching is contradictory to everything that comes naturally to us..."love your enemies"... like are you serious? No Jesus I don't want to love the people who are actively trying to ruin my life, I actually kinda hates those people. Sacrifice your life in order to gain it? That doesn't make sense.
Following Jesus doesn't make for normal lives. It makes for radical, nonsensical, reckless lives.
I broke up with an amazing guy who I was madly in love with, I got accepted into the best business schools in the state of Texas and I didn't pick them.
My bible study teacher Kay lives in a two bedroom condo with two kids, despite people saying they should move into a house, because her and her husband want to live simplified.
My friend Quimi moved from California, leaving behind a family she passionately loves and a cousin she planned to do ministry with, to follow Jesus.
My friend Meredyth hopped on a plane, leaving everything she knew behind, because Jesus called.
A young married couple, only a few years older than myself, from church is paying for the rest of my tuition because Jesus led them.
Another friend of mine is 30 and lives with a family from church so he can continue to do ministry.
My friend Sarah is packing her bags and moving to China.
Why...Because Jesus calls. All these things are different and to you might have varying levels of extremity. But all are so brave. And took a thousand deaths in order to do.
First he calls you to him.
Then he calls you his son, or daughter.
Then he calls you to give up everything you put before him.
Then he calls you to give up your idea of what you think life should look like.
He calls you to let go and follow.
So die to whatever is holding you back. Die to your idea of what you think your life should look like. Leave everything behind and follow Jesus. Because if you asked me, or asked any of the people I mentioned. The life Jesus has for you...It's so much better. Jesus is better.
Songs you should listen to after reading this:
Called me higher- All Sons & Daughters
The cost- Rend Collective Experiment
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