Is This An Issue Of Trust?

In my last post I mentioned how I obsess over everything. Lately I've been...not neccessarily obsessing..but not really fondly thinking of college. I applied to several colleges thinking it would make it easier to pick. I applied to Houston Baptist University, Dallas Baptist University, Syracuse, Baylor, Texas State, and University of Texas. Lol it really didn't seem like as many when I was applying.

I got accepted into all of them except UT. Which really sucks because I was starting to really see myself there. Three of my really good friends got accepted into UT, Austin is awesome, and my Aunt from Greece was moving to Austin this summer. I wasn't devistated when I didn't get accepted, but I was pretty bummed because I felt like I was back to square one... With no idea where I wanted to go.

I just pushed all thoughts of college aside after the rejection letter. But somehow over spring break college worked its way back into my mind. My friend Sara from DBU came in town and was helping out with Serve H-Town and we were talking about how if I went to DBU we could be roommates. Then yesterday I recieved my acceptance letter from Syracuse.

My journalism teacher said today "College is what you make of it" but thats really not why I'm worried. I want to go to a university, and lately the colleges I've been leaning towards are private christian universities. I'm scared I'm going to set my heart on a college...and then realize I can't go because I can't pay for it. It's not that I think I'm above a community college or public university, but its just not where I see myself. Maybe that is high maintenance of me : / I know God will use me no matter where I go to school, but is it terrible of me to just want to go to a private christian college so I can focus on God and major in something like biblical studies or biblical languages.

I've ruled out Baylor and Syracuse. Baylor is grossly expensive..and even with the scholarship they gave me..there is just no way.Syracuse is really far, and as far as I know they didnt offer me a scholarship...so there is no way.

It's really between DBU HBU and Texas State...and if all else fails terribly...Lone Star Community College. Thinking about it makes me want to vomit. I'd rather not decide, and hide under a rock like patrick star until a college begs me to go and offers to pay for everything.


I trust God. I do. But does he really have to leave me in the dark. I know I need to be patient. God will guide me to the school he thinks I'll be best at, or he'll find a way to use me regardless of what school I pick. I still wish he'd just tell me. Is this an issue of trust. If so, I'm failing. God says "Don't be anxious" but this regards my future. I mean I wish God would come down on a rainbow and pick for me. I'd go where ever he wanted me to go. But as of right now its like he's expecting me to pick..and quite frankly im leaning towards the crawling under a rock idea.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?..Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6: 25,27,34