All Things Lovely: Day Six- Despite Sorrow, There is Love. Part 1

Today, you get to meet my future kids.

But before that we have some other things to discuss.

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I can't believe it's Friday. I don't want to leave. There is literally no part of me that misses 'home'. How can there be a 'home' outside of this place?

Honduras has been like nothing I expected. I picture flat land, dry red dirt, dark colored shacks, a dark dirty cold orphanage. But it has been both beautiful, and unfortunate. You look at the hills covered in bright colored houses all stacked right on top of each other. Sometimes hills don't even look like hills just a pile of houses. But when you take a closer look you can see the rusted modest houses falling apart. Everything here is chaotic, from the driving to the city layout/structure.

"Continue to have faith and do what you know is right. Some people have rejected this, and their faith has been shipwrecked."

-1 Timothy 1:19

"...Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love"

-1 Corinthians 13:13 (the Message)

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Today was our last day at the orphanage. You have no idea how much that thought broke my heart. The mere mention of a place outside Honduras and I can feel my heart crumbling and dissolving away like a cookie in a glass of milk. There is no where on the earth I would rather be. I have never felt more sure, more certain, that I was in the right place, doing the right thing. At home I feel like I'm always fighting and struggling trying to find out where God wants me, or what I'm suppose to be doing. Here in Honduras it's like..This is it. This is where I belong. Why am I leaving?

There was one thing to look forward to. Today we pass out all the things God brilliantly placed inside our hands to the palms of the people who it belonged to all along. Jen said as they brought all the food to the orphanage she got to look inside their pantry. "They really needed all the stuff we brought them".

But my favorite part, my favorite memory, passing out the bibles. Their faces are forever engraved in my mind. So excited to have something of their own, they eagerly grabbed the bibles from us and clutched them against their chest, their faces beaming. These kids share clothes, shoes, beds, lice, nothing was more important to them than having something of their own.

I talked to a young girl who was battling depression. Her parents dropped her off at the orphanage after a disagreement and never came back. I tried to comfort her by telling her there was hope.

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."-Jeremiah 29:11

I grabbed Carla, our translator, and with her help I began reading to the girl my favorite scripture(the one above) out of her own bible. What is more beautiful than have God's word read to you in your own language.

A lot of girls were eager to learn verses. I kept thinking of all the people I knew who had memory verses, some from as early as 5 years old, who could still recite them flawlessly, and effortlessly. My heart would literally explode if the verses I read even stuck with one child. My heart would also explode if someone initiated a bible study for these girls.

The Tias (their like teachers/care takers) would send kids to ask us if they could have a bible too. How could we say no? They were just as excited if not more excited than the kids to have a bible themselves. One Tia lifted up the book and kissed it's cover. We had no idea how in need of God's word, not only the kids were, but the adults. It was truly a pure and beautiful gift from God to be able to see their joyous faces as they received it.

I then meet two of the sweetest children.

Sara and Joel

Praise Jesus they fumigated the orphanage or else I would have never gotten to meet these amazing children. Also, my future children. God obviously knew to save the best for last.

To our pleasant surprise they said that we were allowed to go inside the children's(who had been in quarantine all week because they toddlers had chickenpox/Roto) casita. Walking through the door the first thing I see is the adorable boy featured in the picture above. Looking down at him I smiled and said "Hola!" to which he cheerfully responded "Hola!" back. I was pretty impressed more children are pretty shy at first. I scooped him up into and arms and spun him around the room. Excited and giggling from dizziness we took a spin break. He used this time to point out all the stickers around the room and say what they were in Spanish. I of course smiled and said "Si!" to everything he named. Soon I felt another little pair of hands tugging at my shirt, begging with her eyes and smile for me to pick her up. I learned that her name was Sara and the adorable boy in my arms was Joel, and that they were twins.

It started to get hot, or maybe I just started to get really hot, and I needed air. I opened the door to step outside then turned back to see Sara's face wondering in confusion where I was going. When she realized I was leaving her eyes filled with tears.

RUN Mikela! It's the last day, you can't get attached to new kids!

I apologized and shut the door. I felt my own eyes begin to tear up. But I fought the urge.

Not even two minutes later that I found out they they were fumigating and the toddlers would be allowed to leave their casitas. I looked back to house I had just left and saw the door slowly open and the beautiful faces of two children I had already locked inside my heart emerge. They looked in wonderment at the outside world around them. Who knows how long they had been locked up.

When we made eye contact I waved as big as a possibly could, with a smile that I'm sure took up my whole face. Their faces lit up too and they ran to me. We walked hand in hand to the cafeteria. Joel sat in my lap while I bounced him up and down on my knees and leaned him all the way back and ticked him. Every once in awhile he would pull himself up and then rest his head on my shoulder.

"Tired?" I'd ask him

"No"
"Hungry?"
"A little"

I closed my eyes and prayed and prayed and prayed over his tiny little body. I tired to imagine who could abandon a child so adorable, so pure, so innocent and full of childish joy. Before my imagination got the best, or in this case, worst of me I asked my translator Ricardo to ask the Tia about Joel and his Sister.

She informed us their parents has died. Maybe this makes me a terrible person, but the news brought me relief. At least I knew someone didn't willingly let go of these precious children. At the same time it made me feel worse. These kids probably had a happy family where they were the center of their parents attention, love and lives. Now they are here, one of many parent-less children. I truly fell in love with those two kids. I would like nothing more than to come back for them. Make them my children and give them another chance at life.

Saying goodbye wasn't as hard as I imagined. The younger girls showered us with kisses of course. After I tired to sneak out. Joel and Sara didn't even realize I had left. It broke my heart, but I know it would have been worse if I would have seen them cry again.